I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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