ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
