You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
vagina is talking i cant
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
