Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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