Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At least life still wants to fuck me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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