WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
