marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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