maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
