Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
