I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
