Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
