clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
