i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm both gender and math confused
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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