idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She told me I should be a condom model.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
