so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I smell like Dick and happiness
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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