R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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