shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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