just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
