i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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