Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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