Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
