that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
