Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
