Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
