his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
