so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
