Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
