You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
