I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
