why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
