the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
