pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
