And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
