Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
