Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize