i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
