That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
