There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
