I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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