2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
