FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
