You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
