You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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