Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
