the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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