he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize