It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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