And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
