A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I want her autograph on my taint
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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