We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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