he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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