the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
