she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
