I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize