she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
