I'm really into asian looking animals
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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