In the future we'll all be gay
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize