Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
